A Stone-Cold Liar

That's me, according to Phil Johnson over at TeamPyro. He's decided that my rejection of Christianity is to be explained by calling me a liar. No time for any extended look at Phil's post here just now, and I'm not sure what there is to say in response to someone who dismisses all you say as lies, anyway. Here's the comment I left for Phil on his blog earlier. It's not likely to show up in the comment stream there.

Hey Phil,

If you have the courage of your convictions in saying what you do here, I encourage you hear from my friends and family, who remain devout Christians, about my commitment, and more importantly the "fruit" I was known by as a Christian. I'm happy to make it convenient for you to hear from them if you are willing to report back here what testimony you receive from them.

I totally understand that no evidence presented will prevent you from leaning farther the way you already incline -- away from anything that's problematic for your worldview; you can dismiss all that just as easily as lies on their part or a decades long conspiracy on my part to "walk the walk" just to... well, just because of demons I guess you might conclude.

In any case, I bet my wife, former pastors and others would be willing to spare a few minutes to share their understanding of my beliefs and commitments when I was a Christian, even as they might commiserate with you about my rejection of the faith; for them, having real world evidence to deal with -- a relationship with me over time in the real world -- it's not so neat and convenient as the position you've helped yourself to here.

I don't expect that to change your view, but I do think it would commit you to a more honest appraisal of the evidence, having to call me a liar over against the real experiences of those who know me best. I'm sure you can and will maintain your conclusion, because if your blog shows anything about you, it's that certitude and a priori conclusions are what's really divine to you.

But readers would have some background information to contrast your claims with. Even if they agree, they will have had more to work with in judging.

It's convenient to say "I'm too busy" to have a phone call that takes a fraction of the time it took to write your post. It's tempting, I'm sure, to just assume that anyone around me is also under my amazing powers of deception, and therefore of little value in understanding what background is here. But I'm offering, all the same, just because getting an honest view of the situation, any situation, is a good ingredient in making judgments. It's a hassle for me, too, to set that up, especially given the futility it represents in changing anything for you. But I'm willing, just in the interests of doing better than just carving the reality out we like best with our keyboards, and offering soothing and self-medicating rationalizations for our readers.

Let me know if you want to take me up on the offer, and I will put you in contact with people who can speak to the evidence and experience they have of me as a committed, engaged, fruit-bearing Christian. An honest look at the reports of those who know me best won't fit nicely into your narrative here, I anticipate, but that's the thing with being honest: sometimes the pieces don't fit as neatly as you'd like, and sometimes it leads to dissonance, contradiction, and yes, bane of all things Pyro, uncertainty.

-TS


If Phil wants to look honestly at the subject he's addressing, I'm willing to support some further analysis. Does his claim fit with the views of my family, friends, and colleagues, that I'm a liar or a generaly dishonest person? I'm all for looking at the evidence, evidence which should support Phil's allegations if they are true, right? As above, once Phil's convinced of a conspiracy theory, there's no talking him out of it, as the talking just becomes part of the conspiracy in his view. But just for the record, if Phil wants to make personal contact with the people who've known me best, I'm fine with that -- let the evidence show what it shows.

In any case, in the words of a friend who emailed to alert me to Phil's post this morning: "you should have seen this coming... this is what they do."

Fine.

If the retort is nothing more than just to dismiss everything I've said as a lie, and focus on discrediting me and my integrity personally, that's just more evidence against Phil's brand of Christianity as a credible, defensible set of ideas. When you have to resort to dismissing your critics and ideological opponents as liars who can't be even given credit for meaning what they say, there's not much poorer you can get in terms of argument and apology.

25 comments:

bob said...

I went to Phil Johnson's blog, that you are referring to. With in a few sentences (and I read only a few sentences) I knew exactly what you were dealing with, so I went to his bio page -

"...a member of the Fellowship of Independent Reformed Evangelicals...also spent one year at a fundamentalist Baptist school in Tennessee...Theologically, Phil is a committed Calvinist—with a decidedly Baptistic bent".

I knew, before I went to his bio page, that he was a "reformed Calvinist".
I do not even know exactly what "reformed Calvinists" believe, as far as theology, or doctrine, but I do know that being reformed and Calvinist means that God has freed you from any guilt or remorse that a normal human being might feel after you hurl insults at your opposition.
I knew, from the tenner of Phil Johnson's opening sentences in his blog post about you, that he was a very hate-filled Christian, which most likely meant that he was of the reformed persuasion.
From my experiences with them, they are nothing like your average bible believing Christian. Those like Phil seem to feed on their hatred of all who have the nerve to disagree with them. They are the Christian equivalent of the radio shock-jocks, and only serve to frustrate.
My new years resolution several years ago was to never again enter into a dialogue with them. Hurting your feelings is their mission.
In a nutshell, never get into a spitting match with a skunk. You will lose.

Daniel Florien said...

Don't sweat it. Many people think Phil Johnson is an asshole — in fact, I've heard a person in an evangelical Christian ministry call him that exact word. He's a jerk. He's not thought of well in many circles, and his blog is sprawl of bigotry and pride.

He's not going to change his mind, even you could get God himself to vouch for you. It is impossible for him to believe you or I were Christians. Since we're not anymore, we must not have been. That's what the Bible says to him (not to Arminians, though), and so the case is closed.

Touchstone said...

Bob,
No worries, I have thick skin. One of the reasons exchanges on these issues are useful is just to demonstrate what kinds of stance Phil, or someone in a similar position, will assume. The "meta-message" in posts like that is there to see for people willing to see.

I'm a modernist, as should be evident from my affection for the hard sciences, and its epistemology. But one of the latent "stress fractures" in my faith last year was looking at how evangelicals and fundamentals handled the Emergent movement. That's one of the things that prompted me to object at TeamPyro, triggering Phil to (again, reflexively) to assume I had some theological commitment to Emergent thought. I didn't and don't, but I can see Phil wasn't interested in being fair in his representation or assessment of the movement. Why does a Christian need to spin things so hard, and be so self-serving, if he's got the truth on his side. The best critique it seems they can muster is a program of demonization.

The "anodyne hypothesis" gets more and more difficult to reject when you read him (and them) -- reliance on assumptions and presuppositions not for their warrant, but for their "tribal validation" value, for their "comfort value". At some point, honest brokers get to wondering where the substance is behind the bluster.

Anonymous said...

On his Blog I commented as follows:

All we ever see are professing Christians, you know. And as far as that goes Touchstone was a professing Christian. To someone who says I was never a professing Christian, all I say to them is that this is just one of the delusions you have--there are many others.

Why do you even feel the need to discredit the testimony of someone like Touchstone? You don't need to do that. People believe and then change their beliefs about a host of issues throughout their lives.

Some time back skeptic Peter Kirby changed his mind and became a Catholic. I never berated him for leaving the skeptical community. There was no need to discredit him. Again, people believe and then change their beliefs about a host of issues throughout their lives. Just like Kirby has changed his mind again and now affirms atheism.

What are the chances that Touchstone will return to the fold if you berated him. The ugliness in this post will only send him and others away. Good luck with that.

Cheers.

Touchstone said...

John,

In Christianity's defense, it's a lot bigger and better than the ghettoized phenotype that is TeamPyro. That doesn't mean I believe the broader claims of Christianity any more than I believe those of Phil's parochial view of it. But not all Christians have to deal with stories like mine the way he has chosen to.

That's important to note for me for two reasons. First, I was well aware of all sorts of incredible and execrable positions advanced by Christians for decades of my faith. I was taught Young Eerth Creationism as a kid, for cryin' out loud, and remained a believer for nearly twenty years after realizing what a sham that whole thing is. Bad Christians don't prove to me that God doesn't exist; I accepted for a long time that God exists in *spite* of guys like Phil. Jesus, I reasoned, wasn't falsified by the presence of the pharisees he excoriated.

Second, I think it's undersandable in some cases, but unjustified intellectually to leave because of bad behavior or animus from other Christians. These are big, fundamental questions, and it's pretty shallow to conclude God doesn't exist because of Calvinist spitballing.

If God were to deliver prophecies and deliver on them, something like informing us that at midnight GMT the earth would be miraculously transported across the solar system to a point in its orbit exactly opposite of its current position, I'd have to look at that for the evidence that it is. There are other evidential scenarios that I could come up with that would convince me that God does, in fact, exist (whether or not it would be moral or ethical to worship him is another question).

And if that happened, would Phil's angry keyboard be a good reason to deny that? I can't see why it would. To be a Christian is to have to have some distasteful fellows in your travelling party. But the same goes for any belief system with a lot of subscribers. I was treated badly by some atheists over the years, but that wasn't and shouldn't be a reason to get distracted from the reasoned and honest look at the big picture.

Thanks all the same for posting what you did! I think you must pack as much into your words there as you can, as you aren't likely to be allowed very many.

Unknown said...

Thanks to Christopher Manion at the Lewrockwell.com blog for the following.

The Calvinist's ability to hold two contradictory opinions at once (How a loving GOD can send anyone to Hell?) is described best by "Goldstein," the leader of the secret "Brotherhood" that opposes Big Brother in Orwell's "1984." It is a central ingredient of the totalitarian recipe, called DoubleThink, the ability "to tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them."

Orwell describes it thus:

"The power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them . . . . To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them, to forget any fact that has become inconvenient, and then, when it becomes necessary again, to draw it back from oblivion for just so long as it is needed, to deny the existence of objective reality and all the while to take account of the reality which one denies — all this is indispensably necessary. Even in using the word doublethink it is necessary to exercise doublethink. For by using the word one admits that one is tampering with reality; by a fresh act of doublethink one erases this knowledge; and so on indefinitely, with the lie (of faith) always one leap ahead of the truth."

Are you having trouble thinking double? Perhaps you need a trip to Room 101, down at the Ministry of Love.

Anonymous said...

What you lied about is your own faith and belief for, as it were, years. You LIED. Not about God, but about yourself. Period.

That is why this guy called you a liar. You know it. Yet you lie to others.

Why don't you read 1st John? There is a mountain of evidence to suggest that you do not belong to God in any way WHATSOEVER that you were ever a Christian, and nothing to the contrary.

But you say the opposite. And it is a lie.

1st John says you decieve yourself (though I'd like to add that you're not fooling anyone else!) so if you merely despise God (which you do) then do NOT hamper the "purity" of your "objective" "truth" by lying kthxbai

Touchstone said...

charlieonthenet,

What would it *look* like if you had a person who was a Christian, and then rejected it, for whatever reason? In other words, what evidence would lead you to conclude "Yes, this looks like a case where a believer became unbelieving, one with faith lost his faith"?

If you say "there is no evidence that would lead to that conclusion" in response than I understand this not be a problem you have with "truth" as manifest in the evidence and reality around us, but sheer dogma held to, WITHOUT RESPECT OR CONSIDERATION for any evidence at all.

It would be an unfalsifiable hypothesis on your part, that a faithful Christian could not abandon that faith. No evidence could contradict it, by rule.

If that's not the case and you are not operating from unfalsifiable predicates here, then what would you expect to see in cases where you would conclude "This was a faithful Christian who became a non-believer, no longer a faithful Christian"?

Anonymous said...

I think part of the problem here is that Christians tend to think that if you are a true believer in God that you are somehow impervious to eventually rejecting Christianity. I mean, it makes sense in a way. If you have a relationship with God, that ought to be all the evidence you need. (But the question then becomes whether that relationship is fictitious; whether you can simply be mistaken.) Thus, they seem to think that because you no longer believe that you never really did. This is really a scary and self-reinforcing thought when taken to its conclusion as it then effectively bans questioning anything in the worldview.

Also, another part, as I read through the comments on the blog at Pyro, was that they feel the need to expose atheists amongst their midst. But why? Why does one's personal worldview need to be taken into account? Arguments and discussion stand on their own (though certainly affected by presuppositions). To think otherwise is to reduce things to personal attacks, which has no room in logical discourse. It seems that they want to label everyone as theist and atheist so that people can feel more comfortable rejecting skeptical inquiry when it conflicts with their held worldview.

Just my two cents
- Jake

Jeffrey Amos said...

On pyro, Fred Butler wrote:

"He was certainly a crackpot, but a talented one for sure."

While that's not the best of compliments, that's still quite the compliment.

Daniel Florien said...

@Charlie: How do you know you are not lying to yourself? The same feelings you feel now, many of us felt. If it can happen to us, it can happen to you — 1st John or not.

By the way, a great way to know if you are really a Christian or not is Jesus' test at the end of Mark, where he says that Christians can drink poison and not die. So do you want to find out if you're really a Christian or not? ;)

Daniel Florien said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heather said...

I have to say, it is extremely interesting to me how many Christians love to judge one another and non-christians, which in a sense means they judge everyone. I guess they choose not to read the scripture in the Bible that speaks specifically to that. No one knows if you lied, Touchstone. You know, God knows. End of story.

I am not sure why it matters to anyone anyway. As John stated, I am sure that Phil and others like him will draw people to know Jesus, yeah right. They do more harm than good.

As a Christian, it is so hard to see people act in such a way that brings the Christian Faith into a negative light...which in turns gives this blog more fuel for the fire.

openlyatheist said...

It is amazing how Christians get out their magnifying glasses and junior detective kits and begin making distinctions between "subscribing" Christians and "believing" Christians, all LONG AFTER a Christian has left the fold and admitted it.

It is a wonder Christians are not clawing each other's eyes out each week in church searching for all the future-apostate boogeymen lurking beneath the pews.

This is one of two cases of Christain backwards rationalization that I've seen here today. Fascinating!

ahswan said...

Touchstone, I don't know you, and probably haven't read anything from you except for this post, but as a "friendly Christian" I have to say that I appreciate your attitude and openness.

It's too bad that so many folks who call themselves Christians can't see that they take the same position as the Pharisees that Jesus opposed. The best way, I think, to deal with the PyroManiacs are just to ignore them.

Unknown said...

I was going to post on the Team Pyro boards something along the lines ofwhat John wrote (he beat me to it) but then when i read the comments, i realised that it was pointless. Its like an echo chamber. After the first few posts people start talking about demons and what not and exactly when Touchstone passed the magical "Not a Real Christian (tm)" barrier. Really, whats the point engaging with people who have abandoned reason for madness.

The moment i hear christians mention demons is when i mentally switch off. They might as well tell me that Touchstone has bad Juju for all the sense it makes.

For what its worth i've found touchstone's posts very interesting. I haven't yet read through the comments on the Team Pyro blog from 2006 to 2007 but it seems like it covers a period when he was suffering doubts but was still clearly a believer. Please correct me touchstone if i am wrong. Why this is so hard for Phil and co. to understand escapes me.

I've seen a lot of vitriol about "Never a true christian on various blogs (including here) and it sounds to my ear (or eyes in the case of blogs) like they want to have their cake and eat it. I.e. Christians are great, eternal and perfectly well behaved. Oooops, that christians been convicted for pedophilia, that ones left the church and become an atheist, that one turns out to be gay, that ones had an affair. Never mind, hey were "True christians". True christians are the ones that haven't yet had a failure in faith. As soon as they do its retroactively decided they were never in the club.

It just sounds so childish a form of reasoning.

bob said...

oli said - "For what its worth i've found touchstone's posts very interesting. I haven't yet read through the comments on the Team Pyro blog from 2006 to 2007 but it seems like it covers a period when he was suffering doubts but was still clearly a believer. Please correct me touchstone if i am wrong. Why this is so hard for Phil and co. to understand escapes me."

I think I know why it is so hard for them to understand - they do not have to think about it, for it is written in their holy book. No need for contemplation.

Anyone who, in discussion relies upon authority, uses not his understanding, but his memory.
-- Leonardo Da Vinci

Education teaches people how to think, while propaganda teaches people what to think.
-- James A. C. Brown

Touchstone said...

Heather,

One of the problems here is the language overloading. I never believed if Phil Johnson's vision of God, steeped in its Calvinist "mysteries" and cruel contradictions. So I suppose Phil would say I'm lying from first grade Sunday School right on through -- because I'm "denying the truth", which is to Phil, whatever Phil says it is.

I abandoned the foolishness of young earth creationism in my college with some exposure to the evidence and some honest reasoning about how what we see, observe, measure and test fits together. So that's "lying" I guess, too, in denying the Phil-truth of Phil-Genesis, going back twenty years almost.

And so on. One of the reason so much is "water off a duck's back" now, as it was then is just because of the self-serving construal of the term "lying". I'm inclined toward "misrepresenting the objective facts", and Phil's leaning toward "denying Phil-dogma".

Touchstone said...

ahswan,

Strangely, one way to get denounced as a liar is to be honest about your deconversion. Phil decries my talking "openly" about my unbelief as part of his assault on my character, and commitment to being, well, open, in discussing things online.

That's part of how doubt and honest discussion get suppressed, and how insular, self-indulgent worldviews maintain that insularity. It's a worldview problem, and this is how it works itself out in practice.

Thanks for stopping by to comment.

openlyatheist said...

Touchstone,

If you do know Christian friends or pastors that would like to interact with this character, I'd love to read the exchanges.

Just so long as they understand the verbal abuse they will be in for from their fellow brother in Christ.

Touchstone said...

oli,

Well, I've been an "atheist" with respect to the Phil-god throughout. I've never believed that a God with the character and nature Phil imagines for Phil-god exists, in the same way Phil would likely deny the existence of a McLaren-god, or a "Pope Benedict-god", guiding the Holy See through divine providence.

So yeah, I think there's wasn't just doubt, but outright denial of lots of the noxious parts of Phil-god. But there are lots of other renderins of the Christian God than Phil-god, though, and although Phil insists on conflating Phil-god with "the" God, it's not hard to find other renderings with historic and theological foundations that make Phil-god look like the 20th century consumer-fundamentalist novelty that it is.

Which is not to say I subscribe to any of those renderings now. But when I said that I had no reservations about affirming the canons in the Apostle's Creed, I meant it, even as I found "Phil-god-ism" deeply foolish and basically immoral.

I will say that it IS problematic for Christianity that it cannot adequately defend itself from Phil-god-ism any more than it can from Todd-Bentley-god-ism, and all the other fractal permutations out there. While there are other renderings of God to choose from and develop as your own, it says something that all the other contradictory phenotypes just carry along merrily, cosmic truth in any shade you'd like.

Touchstone said...

openly atheist,

OK, noted. But two comments on that.

1) It's unlikely that the "witnesses" here are willing to subject themselves to similar treatment publicly from Phil. I think the best that could be expected is private exchanges with the hopes Phil will come back and fairly represent that Touchstone's wife, friends, etc. do seem to support the idea that TS was *outwardly* committed according to the timeline. Any excoriation of Phil for overreaching so far and talking of things he's not privvy to would of course invite Phil-scorn on *them*, and you can see how that works out. That's not a good proposition to bring about for people around me.

2) At this point, it's academic. As Phil commented on his blog, it wouldn't "prove" anything meaningful to him. It's moot, because his dogma trumps any and all evidence. My rejection of the faith is ipso facto lying, one way or another.

It's a non-falsifiable proposition for him, so I'd be a chump to waste time on that. If he's open to evidential bases for the idea that here was a guy who was committed, and showed the kinds of self-sacrifice, kindness, charity, and other "fruits" that describe a "real" Christian (in addition to the profession of faith), then hearing from those around me isn't the beating of heads against Phil's iron worldview. If all outward appearances are nullified by dogma, it's a fool's game.

I'll pass on that.

Anonymous said...

Goodness, y'all have certainly honored Phil here, haven't you:
Phil-god, Phil-truth, Phil-Genesis, Phil-dogma...

Somehow I can't imagine him being grateful. :-)

ixoyemyth said...

Why give these ignorant, moronic, imbeciles like Phil Johnson, the time and day? This is exactly what they want. Nobody reads their crap. So they figure they can ruffle some feathers on the atheist side. By responding, it gives them the legitimacy they so much thirst for.

Manifesting Mini Me (MMM) said...

I used to visit that blog too and afterwards, I would leave feeling as though I had been infected with feelings of condemnation and fear of divine reproach. I retired from going there - I realized that I need to be heavily armed with spiritual courage (and possibly martyrdom) before entering into such an environment and I personally am not yet as courageous a lover of people as Jesus was.

I might be tempted to rebut as you have here myself given the same circumstances and accusation (BTW, scripturally speaking, anyone who says he isn't a liar is a liar - it's just those who justify/defend the practice and love to lie who are ensnared in the hell of image maintenance).

Nonetheless, here is the good news as Jesus told it - God loves sinners...that would include Phil and every other person who does not love purely and perfectly. I respect and celebrate that.