Death and Life on Easter

It’s Easter; I have memories of getting up early year after year as a child to go to Easter Sunrise Service. We gathered somewhere outdoors, simulating the women and disciples who went to Jesus’ tomb in the early morning on the day of his resurrection. We sang certain hymns that were only for Easter – “Christ the Lord is ris’n today, Ha-a-a-a-He -lelujah,” “He lives! He lives! Christ Jesus lives today. He walks with me and talks with me, along life’s narrow way!” I liked it – the brisk early morning, the feeling of life and hope, the joy of the music. Unlike a lot of other church experiences, it was a day of celebration. And what a profound message – death has been conquered! Just put your faith in Christ.

And now? It’s been many years and I’m no longer a Christian. I do not believe I will continue after I die. In my work as a psychologist, I work with people coming out of religion. There are many issues to deal with, and top or the list for many is this question of death and hellfire. The indoctrination is deep and insidious, a form of child abuse in my opinion. Even without hell, the idea of nonexistence (if that is the direction of change in belief), is sometimes a bitter pill to swallow. Fundamentalist Christianity downgrades a human lifetime compared to eternity and denigrates the whole world as fallen. How many times were we told to focus on where we will be in the hereafter? The result is fear, because no one is certain, and also neglect of the life that we have now.

For those of you who are anxious today and struggle with the idea of death, I can tell you that it is possible to stop fearing damnation. I certainly have and many other former believers have too. It is a phobia indoctrination that serves the religion. If you think you should believe “just in case,” think about what you would be missing. Essentially, your life. The greatest challenge for a human is to know about death, and live fully in the face of it. Other animals can more easily “be here now,” and we can learn from them. However, we have more awareness and it is our existential dilemma to make peace with death.

In a way, we do continue on. Our molecules get rearranged and become other things; nothing is lost, not one atom. All matter and energy in the universe is conserved, according to physics. I find it beautiful to walk in a forest and see a fallen tree where it is decomposing, nourishing the earth, and causing new life to spring up. And if you worry about your soul, ask yourself, “Where were “you” before you were born?” Is that so frightening?

No, we are better off paying attention to the present. This life is limited but so are a lot of things. The Christian attitude of denigrating life because it is short makes no sense. Is a wonderful meal any less wonderful because it ends? When you are listening to incredible music, are you upset because you know the piece will finish? Hopefully not, and we can extend that lesson to life itself. People who have a brush with death often learn to appreciate life in a special way. Our time on this earth is precious. Perhaps when we cherish our days, honor what is possible, love our fellow humans as best we can, and look at the world with awe and wonder, we can achieve a spirituality of a different kind. Of our own free will, we can commit acts of random kindness and dance for no reason at all. Death be damned.

For the recovering fundamentalist, reclaiming intuition and learning to trust one’s inner wisdom is an exciting process. We are not empty, weak, incapable, or bad. We are all interconnected and a part of our amazing universe. Even Einstein said thinking we are individuals is an illusion.
One day, when I was a little discouraged, I wrote to myself from the wise part of me (yes, we are all multiples), and then wondered about that voice. This is what emerged, and it applies to all of us, so I hope you find a bit of inspiration too. I asked where the encouragement was coming from:

“This is from the force that makes the new shoot grow between concrete slabs. This is from the symmetry of fractals. This is from the incomprehensible distance of space, this is from the sound waves that blend and beat and tell you to dance, this is from the little child that looks at you clearly with no fear and says hi, this is from the unadulterated force of the sea under you and all around you when you swim in the ocean, the sea that takes no prisoners when the tide comes in, the sea that spawned life, and the same sea that sends a wave spreading up the sand to your bare feet, with rhythmic purring caress, bringing you the gems that make you smile - the perfect tiny shell, the fragment of blue glass that you tuck in your pocket.

“This is from the cosmic red afterglow of the big bang. This is from all eleven dimensions, from all the things you don't understand and like that you don't understand. This is from the parallel universes that come with the eleven dimensions, penetrating the membrane. This is from the aquifer beneath all of you, the source feeding flashes of human greatness. This is from the massive network of fungus, hidden from view under seemingly separate plants. This is from the power behind the form, the elusive explanation, the delectable mystery. I only have one thing to say to you right now - and that is REMEMBER ME. You are not alone. You always have a reason to go on. and there is no choice; you will go on anyway. Ineffable and inexorable, both. The tide is coming in again today; the ocean has not been deciding.”

Happy Spring.

Marlene Winell

marlenewinell.net
mwinell@gmail.com
Recovery retreats May 1-3, June 5-7

20 comments:

Jesse said...

I wonder if my experience is shared by other former Christians.

When I gave up the belief in God, I lost any fear of hell - it became completely unreal to me.

I was immediately stricken with the fear of death stronger than any fear of hell, probably because hell can be avoided (from a religious perspective), while death cannot. I started valuing my consciousness more than ever and developed a childish fear of falling asleep.

That's more or less gone away after a year of irreligion, but I did find it annoying that I went through the fear of death so late in life.

Spontaneous Order said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spontaneous Order said...

What a well written and hopeful post.

Whenever I get busted on by a Christian about my life purpose not being eternal, I ask if they go around stomping on sand castles when they are at the beach. 'well why not - sand castles aren't eternal'.

Their purpose may, arguably, be eternal. Mine, however, is self determined. Theirs is an eternity of service. No thank you, no matter how benevolent the master.

TRYWorld said...

What a beautiful view of life.

I think it would be such a wonderful world if more people saw it in the way you describe it here.

nomad said...

Thanks. I have been struggling with these issues for quite a while.

ZAROVE said...

It s interesrign you shoudl think of religious indocternation as form of Child Abuse, and pub;ish this opinion after Dawkins did.

Its also rrlaly imprssive that you can talf of how hard it is to come out of Religion because of all the indocternaiton, whilst using the same rhetoric I hear from other Atheists.

WHy is it that the perspective of Neo-Atheism isn't a Religion? It certianly has its doctrines.

I think that, along wiht the rest here, your main goal is simply to justify your own Atheism, and to attack Christianity, as part of your new religion.

You never left Religion, you simply ceased beign Christian and embraced a Religion whose tenet is hateed of Christianity.


I also find it ever-so-bemusing that you lot constantly tlak abotu being self determiend and raitonal et all, whilst positing Christians as the oposite. It gets old to hear how superior you are, especially since Christians tend nto to be as autonomous and unthinking as you'd eem to want to issue them as.

Gandolf said...

Wonderful post.Thanks Marlene!

Harry H. McCall said...

ZAROVE, the Catholic and Orthodox churches are the results of humanity feeding on its self fears and doubts.

As I listen closely to the statements of both the Popes and Patriarchs, I hear religious language trying to protect a belief in a God who is not there; I hear leaders who I term religious atheists (atheists who talk theology).

I saw a dying Pope John Paul II struggle for years with Parkinson Disease. I saw a suffering man left alone to face death as he tried to give his Easter Blessing on the hopeful crowds below at the Vatican.

In the end, this beloved Pope had nothing to show for all his decades in the Church, but hope…a hope proven to be no better than that which we atheist have. At least, we atheist are honest when it comes to death; when the smell of all the flowery theological language and terms fail.I find the best way to “see God face to face and live” is to look in the mirror.

ZAROVE said...

Thanks for proving my point, Harry.

nomad said...

I have never been particularly religious. Like most kids who have religious parents I was essentially forced to go to church. When I came of age, I stopped. Still, I always believed in God; in the idea that there was a God. But church was something I avoided as much as possible. To make a long story short, my family members, who (I later determined) were fundamentalists, insisted that the answer to a particular crisis in my life was religion: Jesus, prayer, church. So I decided to take a serious look at Christianity. I discovered some disturbing things, among which was the barbaric nature of the morality deliniated in the Bible and the bogus provenance of much of the New Testament.

ZAROVE said...

Nomad, your talking in old Rhtoric thats been told before, and vauge geeralities.

I've spent years tsudying the Bible, from every way possible, including critically, and found its not relaly as barbaric in it smroals as yoyu seem to say. I also dont htinkt he Critisism of the Veracity (if this was your intention) of the New TEstament bares anywieght.

Instead, I see an unfolding, onlging interaction between God and Humanity, which developed as Humanity developed, and in it, ast its core, an unchanging moral code that Favours Honour, loytalty, and commitment, and that is roote din uncondiitonal love, expressed in deep cponcern, placing others ahead of yourself, and forgivene sof past sins.

I dont' see how thats horirble at al.

I then see the New Testament fulfill this ideal in the person of Jesus CHrist ands expand the rheme to cover all fo Hunanity at once, ntroducing the complete remission of sins and reformation of life.

Why is that so horrible?

Incidentlaly, the idea that peopel are agisnt religion is one I refute. The trth is, no one relaly is non-religious. CUrrent findigns indicate that ther eis no difference between a Religiosu eprson and nonreligiosu eprosn in their thinking. Religion is, really. just how peopel see the world, and everyone has a Religion. (THis inculdes Secular Hmanists, because Secular Humanism is their religion.)


So in the end all of our answrs are foufn in what religion we adhere to, because our religion is how we udnerstand our world.

nomad said...

Z
Yeah, I guess I do need to read the Bible a few more times in order to acquire the right attitude. Nevertheless, a genocidal morality does seem a bit barbaric. Documents whose authorship are falsely represented do raise questions about the veracity of the content.

ZAROVE said...

Noimad, do you rememebr what I said abotu Rhetoric. Your using it again.

The whole "genocidiice morality" claim is not tue. Not if you bother to really read it rathe than read into it, and use stale claims agaisn it. The "Pseudo-authorship" claim is also not one taken particulalry seriosuly these days in real academic circles.

Your just spouting a party line, not well thought out claims. You didnt even address anythign I said above.

nomad said...

That's cuz you ain't said nothing.

ZAROVE said...

Actually, Nomad, I said quiet a lot. Your the one resorting to cheap rhetoric.

nomad said...

Sure, I could dialog w you. The word "cheap" could apply to the tactic you are attempting to use. Both of us are using rhetoric. Rhetoric is only bad when its empty. Now lets get to the issues.

ZAROVE said...

Nomad, I didnt use Rhetoric. I explaiend what I saw in Christianity, and you followed up with a repetition of the balan accusation of the Bibel as Barbaery and how immoral it is, with not ven the usual token exampels such as Lots daufhters beng offered to a crowd or Elijah sending bears to kill rhe 42 Children. You just sort of expected us o beleice your claims for no reason at all. (Note, the exampels I listed are typical ones, but are always kept put of any context.)


Your not intereste in anythign but slamming Christianity, which means you dont really want dialouge at all.

nomad said...

You're not using rhetoric? Of all the absurd things you've said, that's the absurdest.

ZAROVE said...

Nomad, the only reason you say that the things I've said are absurd is because they are defending Christianity. If I'd attacked Christianity, then you'd think what I've said was spot on.

It's not really possible for me to formulate a cohesive and rational argument to defend Christianity in your eyes, because you have decided that all such claims are automatically absurd, and have decided that Atheistic arguments are by default logical.

But nothing in what I've posted here is objectively absurd. You certainly haven't shown any real argument against what I've said. Simply dismissing it as such proves my point, that you do not care about rational arguments, only in slamming Christianity.

nomad said...

Actually Zargrove the spelling in your earlier posts makes them difficult to reread. I pass on reviewing your argument. But contrary to what you might think I am not necessarily an atheist. I do however believe in truth. I have no need to go into a long dissertation about the genocidal acts attributed to God in the OT. That's been done often enough elsewhere. Its in the Bible. You can defend them in whatever way you choose (apologetics), but you can't deny they're there. Likewise, unless you're willing to reject modern scholarship (and this would not surprise me, since you reject rhetoric) you have to admit that the Gospels were not written by the Apostles, Peter probably didn't write Peter and Paul didn't write all of the letters attributed to him.