Meeting Death as an Atheist

American hero Pat Tillman was killed by friendly fire in Afghanistan on April 22, 2004. As Brent Rasmussen (from Unscrewing the Inscrutable blog) points out: You'd think that the Army would want to find out exactly what happened, and discipline those who were responsible. Well, you'd be wrong.

Instead, Lt. Col. Ralph Kauzlarich has decided to blame everything on the Tillman family's atheism instead.

Kauzlarich, now a battalion commanding officer at Fort Riley in Kansas, further suggested the Tillman family's unhappiness with the findings of past investigations might be because of the absence of a Christian faith in their lives.

In an interview with ESPN.com, Kauzlarich said: "When you die, I mean, there is supposedly a better life, right? Well, if you are an atheist and you don't believe in anything, if you die, what is there to go to? Nothing. You are worm dirt. So for their son to die for nothing, and now he is no more — that is pretty hard to get your head around that. So I don't know how an atheist thinks. I can only imagine that that would be pretty tough."

I had my first experience with death as an unbeliever this past week.

My ex-mother-in-law, my kids' grandma, passed away after 12 hours on the operating table. Grandma Betty was the sweetest woman with a heart of gold. She adored my kids and did everything she could for them. She was one of those people that everybody liked. We got back in touch as the years moved on even though I was no longer her daughter-in-law. We had some good times together both before and after my divorce.

What was it like for me knowing that Grandma's life was over...period? Grandma was a Christian. If it were all true, she definitely would have gone to heaven. When I told my mom about Betty she was sad but comforted herself with the fact that Betty would be with Jesus, she was so sweet that Jesus would probably meet her at the gates. I was on the phone with my mom, so she didn't have to see my "yeah, whatever" nod. But I knew that would be her reaction.

What was it like for me knowing that Grandma's life was over...period? It was a sense of closure, her life was over, she lived a good one, I am thankful she was in my life when she was and in my kids' lives when they were growing up.

Do I miss knowing that she is gone on to another, better place? No, because the reality is, whether one thinks the deceased are in heaven or not, she is gone, gone from us, gone from her friends, gone from her family. Everyone who knew her will miss Betty.

Is it more comforting to think that one day we will all see her again in heaven? And is there any harm in thinking that? Is there any detriment for passing along that myth?

In the general "American-Christianity" point of view, it is probably harmless. They've gone on to a better place, we'll see them again, they're in heaven now. Just like we tell our kids that their pet went to doggie heaven.

But how about from the fundamentalist point of view? I agonized for years over my grandpa's death because he was an atheist. I knew he went to hell. My only hope was that he had a deathbed conversion, but since he died of a massive heart attack, I didn't really think that was possible. My other grandpa died unsaved, too. He wanted nothing to do with religion, especially his wife's JW brand. I knew even though they were both good, kind-hearted men, they went to hell. I worried about my dad who is an atheist, I wanted him to accept Jesus so that he would be able to go to heaven, but he just wouldn't buy into that.

One thing I have observed is that Christians are very adamant about "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ" or you will go to hell point of view until someone close to them who wasn't a born again Christian dies. Then there are all sorts of platitudes like we don't know what was on his heart when he died.

So when Lt. Col. Ralph Kauzlarich says: "When you die, I mean, there is supposedly a better life, right? Well, if you are an atheist and you don't believe in anything, if you die, what is there to go to? Nothing. You are worm dirt" I think to myself: That is why we should live the best life possible in the here and now. Enjoy the life you have laid out before you. Make the most of every opportunity. You really do only get one life to life - make the most of it.

Grandma Betty did just that. Goodbye Grandma.Thanks for being in our lives.