An Encouraging Email
Hello Mr. Loftus - I'm wading thru "Why I Rejected Christianity". What a wonderful read! I may have to go back in a few more times. How did you know that I was also asking many of those same questions?!
I too am a born-again atheist. From the evangelical world to the liberal, affirming church (when I came out to myself and the world) thru some paganism, right out to the door to the freedom of atheism.
I miss god. I miss faith. I miss knowing that someone is looking out for me with my best end in mind. Fitting me for heaven after all! I was going to soar thru the heavens and understand the mysteries of the Universe. Now I'll become fertilizer. Someone asked me why I was mad at god. I'm not mad at god. I just happen to know that there is no god at whom to be mad. And I sure like relaxing on a Sunday morning!
I used to long for heaven. This life is but a shadow. But now I savor Life. I have so much less anxiety now that I no longer wait for god to do things. I am energized knowing that I make things happen. There is no more second guessing if I'm doing god's will or not. I see the power of Life and I am in awe. I am teaching my children to have a thankful heart for the beauty and power of this life. I am teaching them to have compassion for those around us and to love with their might.
This is why I am so enjoying your book. We shared that solid faith. And now we share enlightenment.
There are others out there like me! You just express it with great intellect.
(But I still hesitate before typing god with a lower-case "g")
Thank you, Sir.
Peggy
I too am a born-again atheist. From the evangelical world to the liberal, affirming church (when I came out to myself and the world) thru some paganism, right out to the door to the freedom of atheism.
I miss god. I miss faith. I miss knowing that someone is looking out for me with my best end in mind. Fitting me for heaven after all! I was going to soar thru the heavens and understand the mysteries of the Universe. Now I'll become fertilizer. Someone asked me why I was mad at god. I'm not mad at god. I just happen to know that there is no god at whom to be mad. And I sure like relaxing on a Sunday morning!
I used to long for heaven. This life is but a shadow. But now I savor Life. I have so much less anxiety now that I no longer wait for god to do things. I am energized knowing that I make things happen. There is no more second guessing if I'm doing god's will or not. I see the power of Life and I am in awe. I am teaching my children to have a thankful heart for the beauty and power of this life. I am teaching them to have compassion for those around us and to love with their might.
This is why I am so enjoying your book. We shared that solid faith. And now we share enlightenment.
There are others out there like me! You just express it with great intellect.
(But I still hesitate before typing god with a lower-case "g")
Thank you, Sir.
Peggy
5 comments:
Hello John & Peggy
That's a great letter, and I'm really enjoying this blog :)
I grew up as an atheist... My parents were raised as Christians, but both had lapsed by the time I was a kid.
I have a question for you... So much of Evangelical & Fundamentalist Christianity is based upon things which are simply not true... The reliability of the Gospels, for example, or the accuracy of Genesis as a scientific account... To believe these things, one has to actively avoid huge chunks of knowledge and learning.
Sure, the average believer in the street might believe these falsehoods sincerely... But they are still falsehoods. Worse, somewhere down the line, Christian preachers and authors are knowingly perpetuating "pious fraud", be deliberately withholding information from their flocks.
This is surely bearing false witness... But it isn't quite lying, as that word infers an intent to deceive, where in this case it's more of an intent to share the same righteously held delusion.
What's your take on this as ex-believers? How much of this is deliberate warping of the truth, and how much is simple self-delusion?
Thanks & peace to the world :)
PTET
PTET, all I can say is that I sincerely believed and that I'm willing to grant the defenders of Christianity sincerity as well. I think the proper way to view them is that they have blinders on and that for all of their education and intelligence they are ignorant of certain things. Christian philosophers, for instance, are not experts in biblical scholarship. So they operate on the assumption of some fundamentalist conceptions and try to make sense of them. My contention is that the more one involves himself in biblical studies the less he believes.
Thanks John... I don't doubt the sincerity of the vast majority of believers. Apologists like J P Holding intrigue me, as they pour an enormous amount of effort into supporting their beliefs by "scholarship" which ignores what the vast majority of scholars, Christian and otherwise, say.
But there is something... evil... about religious beliefs which say, for example, that condom use should be discouraged in the battle against HIV/AIDS, or that it's OK to hate people on the basis of their sexuality or religious beliefs.
There seems to be a word missing in the English language for falsehoods told in the sincere belief that they are true. It isn't "lying", but it's sure as hell close.
Anyway - thanks for answering :)
Peggy,
Wow, great email. I am very new to this Blog, to the idea of letting go of my past beliefs (I haven't even told my wife yet), and am not sure yet where I am going. Yet your sentiments are encouraging to me as I try to understand the excitement I'm feeling. Shouldn't I be feeling guilt and shame? Instead I am seeing the world in a whole new way. Quite awhile back I stopped depending on God (more out of anger at that point) and started looking to myself. What a difference! Not that I'm so awesome, but it sure feels good to stop waiting on God and trying to make sense of everything through that prism. I am definitely not an atheist yet (one step at a time), but I know I can't go back top the fundamentalist mindset. It is very strange, but I think my "de-conversion" experience might be more wonderful than my conversion experience! I am concerned for my kids though, that is the only thing weighing me down right now. I'm glad to hear that you are able to carry this over to your kids and help them to understand. It's just not as easy as the whole idea of a loving God, heaven, etc. Again, thanks for your encouraging email!
mark
Wow, this is an amazing blog.
I think i have experienced all of these things you are talking about, yet I still call myself a Christian, only because I still believe in Christ.
Christians and the evangelistic church movement have got it all wrong. I finally realized for the first time in my life that I am in control of my life, and I believe that is the way God wants it. No more waiting on God, or waiting for His will...we will be waiting forever. We have been waiting for Him to move, while He has been waiting for us to move. We have desires and dreams for a reason, we were born with them and we should do everything in our power to go and get them.
Too many churches are forcing congregation members to unify with the vision of the head or pastor and while they are doing that, they are denying their very existence and the vision for their own lives.
I believe this is why Christians get so bitter as they get older and look back at their lives and it seems as if the church has stole all of their time and effort that they could have been bettering their own lives and striving for their own dreams.
I now can separate my relationship with God and what I have learned from organized religion because they are completely different. I finally realize who God is, and He doesn't look anything like the "religion box" that I came from.
So whether you have left organized religion or left believing, I am glad it is a liberating experience for all of you, and I am glad we are all becoming enlightened to the truth of who God really is and that He is for us no matter what we feel our course is in life or what we desire.
Peace to all :-)
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