Looking for Definitions of God for a Book.
I've been invited to submit some definitions for God which will turn into a book, but having seen the other ones it seems they covered it well enough already. ;-) Any other suggestions?
Something that eludes definition for the simple reason that it does not exist.
"A psychological sock puppet" - Anonymous
The weakest, worst, most pathetic and least practical reason to die.
God - A nice thought.
God - One more thing the dead don’t think about anymore.
Takes both sides in a war.
God - The rapist’s alibi.
God is any set of combined rules and taxes inducing shame, judgment and fear.
A condom to put on before reality fucks you.
The being that will send you to hell for eternity if you deny its “everpresent” existence.
The guy you’re supposed to worship, unless you’re gay.
What someone who believes in God thinks they are.
Creator of cancer.
Link
11 comments:
The one I always use is "a substitute for human ignorance", i.e. we don't know therefore Goddidit.
God is a concept by which we measure our pain. God -- John Lennon
God...
The best imaginary friend I never had ;o)
God...
That big guy in the sky... w/ no balls - what?! Correction: God - that big hermaphrodite in the sky.
God...
That jerk that doesn't respond to his e-mail.
God...
The invisible man's second cousin.
God...
That guy that left a "Be back in 5 minutes" sign at his desk... and meant 5 minutes in God-time. How many thousands of years is that? ;P
Fun post! ;)
- DJ
www.youtube.com/user/myintellectualjourny
God n. guh-odd.
1. The invisible chain of political control. See also: Totalitarianism in robes.
2. Amanita Muscaria
3. Abusive and murderous counterpart of the goddess.
4. The poster child of human ignorance. (with apologies to Kel)
5. The Lie repeated oft enough.
6. A picture of the heart of it's creator: And man said, let us make a deity in our own image. And they called the deity, "God". And man looked and saw God was petty, jealous, murderous, genocidal, oppressive of women and approving of slavery, and man said, "It is good."
The mechanical success of our civilization has led many to basic materialism. Are western men divided into those humanists who think that there is 'only this material world' and those who believe in a spiritual world ? Humanists now proudly work for many praiseworthy goals, but also accept malthusiastic concepts such as overpopulation. So they declare some to be ' unter-menschen', killing babies before they become human and easing away the senile. In contrast, the laws given by spiritual decree forbid unprincipled behavior by believers. God made our world for successive generations and plans to shut it down when the number of saints is full.
A new book, 'Techie Worlds' (available from Amazon.com) looks at some teachings of the Galilean. They are ridiculous and cannot happen if there is 'only this world'. But viewed in the light of Flatland's contiguous dimensional worlds, they make simple mechanistic sense. This is the way of science: to look at phenomena to see if they are explained by a theory. If they are, that theory is accepted as true. So the Galilean logically based his statements on a spiritual world that truly exists and is superior to ours. 'Techie Worlds' discusses teachings about the Trinity, soul, resurrection, judgment, hell and Satan and others.
As Jews, Muslims, and pagans learn that the spiritual world of Christ is real, wars and terror will pass and the reign of Love will ennoble our world for the wellbeing of all.
GeorgeRic
heya. happy halloweenie all. so my friend Dan and I are working on that website this super cool guy decided to report on, and are thrilled to see this post. The one liners are the best so keep at it you blaspheming fire spitting hellions. We'll snag them off this blog if you're too god fearing to actually submit directly on the site!
http://god-defined.com/index.html#godform
God...
Anything good, I'll take credit. Anything evil, it's because of free will.
What up, Yo
Maybe you could title this chapter "Were certain there is no God, now we will list all the reasons we hate him".
Dueces, feeno
God...
I don't want you to be certain of my existence, but you are without excuse, as the bible is certainly true.
I AM whatever you conceive of me.
I want genuine love, but I still have to give you reasons.
I know what you want and need, but you have to pray.
I gave you life just to take it away.
The greatest mind game player of all-time.
I just want to be loved and appreciated.
Created all mankind, but few are chosen. (And at first you had to be Jewish.)
Seek and you shall find, or die trying.
Ask and it shall be given, but if you didn't get it, you don't need it.
I'll help you only if you have faith.
My ways are not your ways. My thoughts are not your thoughts. I just had to tell you that, even though I created your ways and thoughts.runizes
God: The mystery to explain all mysteries.
A hypersensitive divisive detected agent.
The phantom of the space opera.
Okay, that last one was a bit ropey...
I like this description of the ivory-tower liberal scholar's "God" that I read in a reader-review on Amazon: A cosmic blanc mange.
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