Looking for Definitions of God for a Book.

I've been invited to submit some definitions for God which will turn into a book, but having seen the other ones it seems they covered it well enough already. ;-) Any other suggestions?

Something that eludes definition for the simple reason that it does not exist.

"A psychological sock puppet" - Anonymous

The weakest, worst, most pathetic and least practical reason to die.

God - A nice thought.

God - One more thing the dead don’t think about anymore.

Takes both sides in a war.

God - The rapist’s alibi.

God is any set of combined rules and taxes inducing shame, judgment and fear.

A condom to put on before reality fucks you.

The being that will send you to hell for eternity if you deny its “everpresent” existence.

The guy you’re supposed to worship, unless you’re gay.

What someone who believes in God thinks they are.

Creator of cancer.

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