My Stepfather John Died Friday
I arrived in Reno, Nevada, to see John (his name) two hours before he died. He looked comfortable until the end. They said he waited until I arrived to hear my voice and that with no blood pressure he shouldn't have survived Thursday night. It was bittersweet. I'm now helping my Mom work through her grief along with some legal and funeral decisions. My brothers both live out here, one in Reno and another in Sacramento, CA, so she'll be in good hands. John's remains are going to be cremated, just like my Dad was, and just as I plan on being. Below is a rough draft of what I plan on saying during the memorial planned at his Presbyterian Church later this week.
[Edited upon further reflection Monday]
John and I shared similar beliefs. I am a former preacher who is now an atheist. When I had first accepted evolution more than a decade ago, John's eyes lit up. He went on and on about how ignorant is it not to accept it. On occasion John even told my Mom that the Bible "is all a bunch of fairy tales." We agreed on that. He did believe in some kind of god though, and found it comfortable worshipping that god in this church.
Polls say that nonbelievers make up the second largest denomination in America, behind Catholicism. So there might be people here besides myself who have to memorialize the dead where we must listen to Christians express things we just cannot accept. But let it be known that John, like my father before him, and like me after them both, will all end up in the same place that animals go to when they die. In the ground. Therefore the pain of losing a loved one is more intense for us. We have no false comfort of divine strength in times of loss, nor do we have any false hope of seeing our loved ones again. All we can do is be thankful our paths crossed and we made the journey lighter for each other, and John did that with me. And he was very good for my Mom. I'll never forget him, and that's all I can say, for I'll never see him again. I'll miss him greatly.
[Edited upon further reflection Monday]
John and I shared similar beliefs. I am a former preacher who is now an atheist. When I had first accepted evolution more than a decade ago, John's eyes lit up. He went on and on about how ignorant is it not to accept it. On occasion John even told my Mom that the Bible "is all a bunch of fairy tales." We agreed on that. He did believe in some kind of god though, and found it comfortable worshipping that god in this church.
Polls say that nonbelievers make up the second largest denomination in America, behind Catholicism. So there might be people here besides myself who have to memorialize the dead where we must listen to Christians express things we just cannot accept. But let it be known that John, like my father before him, and like me after them both, will all end up in the same place that animals go to when they die. In the ground. Therefore the pain of losing a loved one is more intense for us. We have no false comfort of divine strength in times of loss, nor do we have any false hope of seeing our loved ones again. All we can do is be thankful our paths crossed and we made the journey lighter for each other, and John did that with me. And he was very good for my Mom. I'll never forget him, and that's all I can say, for I'll never see him again. I'll miss him greatly.