Silly Sayings of Jesus: Don't Worry About Food or Clothes.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"                 Matthew 6:25-30 (ESV)
Really Jesus? Paris Hilton could have come up with something more sensible than that steaming pile! I mean, maybe you were doing that whole new-age guru, Deepak Chopra on Ecstacy thing… Pretty, birdies and flowers… bliss out baby! Sorry to harsh your buzz, but your words ring hollow in countries where sad-eyed children with arms like sticks, are starving to death. Try spouting your platitudes to a desperate mother who doesn’t have enough nutrition in her emaciated body to breast-feed her starving infant. “Life is more than food…”? Uh, no. If you go very long without food, life goes away. It’s called being dead. And clothes? Well, fashion isn’t important in the overall scheme of things, but a warm jacket can be helpful in not freezing to death in the winter.
To be blunt, you sir, are full of shit. God doesn’t feed birds. They do the work of finding worms and seeds and berries, and, if they can’t find a food source, they starve to death. I’ve seen old ladies scattering birdseed, but never once have I seen Yahweh doing a damn thing.

Let’s pretend for a minute that you and your Father actually exist. If, as you claim, Sky Daddy values people even more than birds, then he sure has a strange way of showing it. There are so many daily opportunities to demonstrate his professed love for humans around the world, but as usual, he’s a no-show. I suppose he’s busy with other things – like helping televangelists afford palatial mansions and private jets by bilking the old and sick, or prospering megachurches so they can afford to bring in live camels and trapeze artists for their Christmas extravaganzas. Everyone has to have their priorities.

Look, I get that flowers are pretty. Kind of irrelevant. Great for anniversaries and wedding decorations, but it doesn’t put clothes on the backs of poor people. Now if you had made it so that homeless people magically grew winter coats when the weather got cold - that would impress me. I would even call that intelligent design. Am I getting too practical for you? “God clothes the grass of the field.” Oh wow, thanks Jesus. I feel so relieved now. Life is peachy! Seriously, anyone who reads this in the Bible should feel insulted by the utter inanity of the statement.

Here’s a news flash: Good parents worry about making sure their loved ones are provided for. They think and plan for the future. It’s a human thing, so maybe you don’t get that. We certainly are far from perfect, but we do have our moments. You could even learn a thing or two from us. Okay, I’m going to quit because I’m starting to feel dumb – all this talking to such a flawed fictional character. But hey, if people didn’t take you seriously, then we wouldn’t need to have these conversations, now would we?

Written by J. M. Green