I'm Back On the Marriage Market
I've married plenty of women in my days. No I'm not a polygamist. I've performed many weddings. I never thought I'd do so again even though I've been asked more than a dozen times, and turned them all down. Until tonight. For as a newly ordained minister with the First Church of Atheism I'm conducting my first wedding in years. If anyone would like me to perform your wedding just contact me and I'll get the job done without the religious mumbo jumbo. For a secular humanism church I'm also a minister with the Universal Life Church whose only creed is an "adherence to the universal doctrine of religious freedom: 'Do only that which is right.'"
I'll also do atheist funerals with dignity and respect for those who have lost loved ones without the religious mumbo jumbo.
I'll also do atheist funerals with dignity and respect for those who have lost loved ones without the religious mumbo jumbo.
20 comments:
Marriage was created to model the covenant relationship between Christ and His bride (the true church of collective born-again Christains throughout the denominations). There is a purpose for everything in this temporary creation. Just like the parent/child relationship. The father/son relationship. The Creator/creation relationship. Even the slave owner/slave or master/servant relationship.
Only one religion has the greatest purposes for what these model.
Question the coincidences.
There ARE answers to your questions, John. (Love to go through them with you systematically).
Breckmin
Wow,we have never heard or even considered what you posted before.
...sigh...
Of course Breckmin, because Marriage totally didn't exist before your particular book of myths and fairy tales came along. Naturally, it was CREATED in your book. No other society has EVER had marriage.
Just out of curiosity, should we all follow the Solomonic model and have 300 wives and 700 concubines?
No more than we should follow David's adultery and murder.
Question everything.
Can you also supply the bride, John? Or is that extra?
RE: Marriage
The fact that a man and woman came together in a love relationship (a life time committed relationship)existed before any of the writings of any of the prophets or apostles (book? that was put together thousands of years after the Law was given).
Skirting to a book that wasn't published to the masses until the 16th/17th Century is a diversion away from the man/woman relationship itself and what it symbolizes.
BRILLIANT idea John!!! congratulations!!!
at Breckin ... you starting to sound pretty far out there, and fairly cryptic with your statements. it reminds me of DM.
Polygamy in the Bible proves that Polytheism is true. QED.
Wow, this is great. My girlfriend & I have wondered what we are going to do in place of the traditional wedding stuff. Even though it might upset her family, we don't want any voodoo mumbo jumbo in our wedding. How does an all-expenses-paid trip to Florida sound to you, John?
Wade, count me in, sure.
Explicitly atheist weddings are a great idea, John. Not only do they provide couples with the option of a more sane experience, but they demonstrate to the public that social rituals do not require religious intrusion.
I would be interested in an atheist funeral (some time in the distant future). Do you have any plans in that direction?
Thanks for the lols, breckmin.
It is quite entertaining to see how distorted everything looks through the prism of religion.
My favorite among the relationships nurtured by the One True Religion: the slave-master relationship.
Brian, yes, funerals too. And other equivalents as we can think of them, like a coming of age ceremony if someone wants one where the youth confirms his skepticism in a ceremony. Hey, why not?
What do you think about debaptism ceremonies, John?
Brian, yes debaptisms look like fun things to do, and cathartic.
"the slave-master relationship."
God owns everyone because He created everyone. However, if you become "tainted" (by sin) and are not made "untainted" through redemption, then God will indeed eternally disown you.
This is unfathomable horror with absolutely no hope (once you enter into the eternal state still tainted).
Ownership is logical. Slavery to the Creator is completely logical.
If Jesus Christ is the Creator in Human Flesh, then slavery to Christ is equally logical. This can only happen willingly, however, because of the variable of choice and how its consequences are eternal. Q E
John,
Will you be getting all the tax breaks that pastors get? Or is ordained minister different from a pastor who has a local congregation, so you wouldn't qualify for those breaks?
Ministers get tax breaks because they're work related. I suppose I can take them too.
"If Jesus Christ is the Creator in Human Flesh, then slavery to Christ is equally logical."
And if Kim Jung Il is the Dear Leader and you owe him
everything including the little ration of rice you survive on, then lifelong servitude to him is "logical", too.
And yes, they claim it is "voluntary".
During my years as a believer I never understood how something could be voluntary while at the same time backed up by threats (either labor camps or hellfire).
@ Breckmin-Wow! So that's what happens when you don't have a qualified lobotomist!
Post a Comment